Thursday, March 31, 2011


perhaps the most heartbreaking piece about parents and children since 'The Giving Tree'

In all reality, this is pretty much the story of my life so far...maybe that's why it hurts so much.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Wow, So this blog is pretty much dead....

I'm sort of surprised someone didn't take it away from me with a back handed slap. But then again, there really isn't any sort of standard of performance for the web and blogs. That's both the beauty and straight ugliness of it. huh.

So as my last post intimated, I used to race bikes. I used to train hard and all that. I went into off season of 2010 feeling pretty good about myself. Self-satisfied, even. I'd upgraded, won a couple races, placed in a few more, lost a bunch of weight and basically scared all the other cat 4's in the field with my THUNDEROUS quads. So why not think I'd continue ripping fools in 2011? Well. Whatevs. All urine in the dirty diapers...or something like that.

But I'm BACK. Well, as a shell of what I once was- but I've returned. I had a stint of training prior to the beginning of the cross season to salvage any notion of being a bike racer. Which sort of worked. I lined up and watched everyone ride away at the start every time. I beat some guys (thank god for mechanicals), got beat by a lot more. But I was out there, suffering, getting dirty, tasting blood and looking at my legs and wondering why they weren't producing the power I kept (irrationally) expecting them to. It was tough, though. I kept reminding myself to ease up on the expectations, ride for fun and friends...but I think I'm not really wired to participate in parades...I want to... I want to be that guy who can just put on a tutu and ride for the experience. But fuck that. I want to win, I want to crush my enemies and all that. What can you do? So I was invariably a little upset, a little demoralized and a bit like 'what the fuck am I doing out here?' I like cross, but I like the 'idea' of cross way more. So if I'm not getting to beat people it's mostly just taking a belt sander to my crotch for 45 minutes.

So I'm back. I'm 'training' as best I can, given the circumstances of being a parent. The miles are coming slowly, the fat seems to stick around longer. This time last year I was feeling pretty good. This year, I'm pretty far behind that schedule. But with any luck, I'll be firing by the time crit season comes around. We'll see.

In other news, I'm psyched about the team. We had our big meeting this last weekend...Lots of cool sponsors, lots of sponsor support to back it all up and a new, swanky kit that cost too much, but looks really super. Makes me want to drink beer. We'll be looking pro in our new helmets, kit, and whatnot - if only there was positive correlation between time spent thinking about results and results...